Luca turned 9 yesterday. We ended our night with a major tantrum, threats, cursing, name calling. We got him a laptop for his birthday which he asked for. There was some frustration involved in using it and wanting certain Minecraft mods. Anyway, at around 8 p.m. we told him it was time for bed and he proceeded to disobey, disrespect, threaten and curse us for 45 minutes. He said he didn’t get a lot of presents, it was a horrible birthday, on and on. We have been in a dark time lately.
Two nights ago he had the worst meltdown we have ever dealt with. We had an epic weekend for his birthday at an indoor water park hotel with his friend. That went mostly well. The night of our return we were watching a taped movie on tv and told him it was time for bed. He wanted to finish the movie but it was bedtime. He became out of control. He hit me several times, punching me, telling me he hates me, I’m an asshole, a shithead. I tried and failed to restrain him. The second time I tried to restrain him he bit my arm. Then he locked himself in the bathroom with my mobile phone. He threatened to call 911 because I “man handled him”. That is what he felt when I tried to restrain him so obviously I did it incorrectly. I thought he would throw my phone in the toilet.
We lost the battle, a crushing defeat, he watched the rest of the movie. In the morning he was okay, embarrassed about biting me but that was all. Hitting me and cursing and yelling, he doesn’t seem to remember that or care to admit it was out of order.
We finally have an ABA therapist on board, but “he hates her” and in a nutshell it seems like she implies all the behavior we see is pretty much our fault. It is a hard pill to swallow. We live in a small town so ABA options are limited. I guess over the years we have dealt with Luca in a way that let’s him get away with too much, now he can be out of control, so it’s our fault in the sense we were dealing with behavior as best we could but creating bad patterns?
All I know is my boy can be rude, disrespectful, violent and it is taking its toll on our home. We are going to a therapist he has seen in the past on June 9th, hopefully she can help.
It’s really hard to listen to him go off on us like he did last night after all we did for his birthday. He was so incredibly ungrateful and awful. I am so proud of my wife for sticking to her guns and repeating to him to put on his pajamas, it’s bedtime as he threatened to shoot her with a gun and call her a shithead. She took it all and he put on the pajamas and he finally went to bed.
It’s hard not to be depressed and have a broken heart, then try to have a normal day. He is obsessed with Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Henry Danger, both of which teach sarcasm, disrespect and revenge, calling everybody morons and making fun of people.
We need to find someone who can really help us and him, so far we don’t have the help. He can be sweet and happy but can turn at any moment. Nobody seems to see what we see, they certainly don’t live here to experience the worst of it.
Anyway…
spectrumdadblog 